Have you ever spent a significant amount of time with a little kid and thought Wow, what in the world is going on in their head?
One minute they’re eating Cheerios from between their toes, and the next they are having a full blown conversation with something named Fuzzbucket, a piece of navy blue fuzz that fell off of Dad’s hoodie, that’s now become a long lost friend. Kids are, without a doubt, some of the weirdest creatures on the planet! But honestly, that’s what makes them so amazing!
Their Logic is…Questionable at Best
Ask a kid why they colored the cat with pink chalk, and you get a completely serious answer like, “Because he wanted to be ice cream.” Or why they are taking a toad for a jump on the trampoline? “So I can teach him to fly.” When my middle one was 3, I asked her where the little bag with the pony tails were and she shrugged her tiny shoulders and nonchalantly said “Humm, maybe the trash man has it.”
They’re logic doesn’t have to make sense to us, it makes perfect sense to them. And, at times, don’t we all wish we could live in their version of reality for a while.
They Have Zero Shame
Kids will walk around in public wearing a superhero cape, swim goggles, and cowboy boots just because they feel like it. They will belt out the Frozen soundtrack or the ABC song in the middle of a crowded grocery store, with absolutely no concern for volume or social norms.
If they have a question, they’ll ask it. Loudly. Why does that man have hair in his nose? Or they point out that the lady at Walmart smells really bad, while she’s standing right next to us. Or my personal favorite, “Mom your hair looks weird.” Meanwhile they just woke from a nap and their hair is standing completely on end. ALL.OF. IT.
If you want brutal honesty, ask a toddler how you look today. But brace yourself for the cold, hard, truth.
Tiny Agents of Chaos
Living with a little kid is much like living with a tiny tornado. They may be found licking the back tire of the car, feeding a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to a plant in the corner of the living room, or drawing all over the fridge with a sharpie.
They seem to have an endless supply of energy and an innate ability to find the one thing that you don’t want them to touch. It’s not that they are trying to cause chaos, it just follows them wherever they go.
Because of the weirdness of toddlers we often have conversations or make comments that make us stand back in awe and think “Did I really just say that?” So years ago I started keeping a list of “Things I never thought I would have to say to another human being..and then I had kids.”
Top 10 Things I Never Thought I Would Have To Say:
- I can wipe myself, thank you.
- Do not wash your face with toilet water.
- Why are there popsicle sticks stuck to the wall?
- Do Not eat out of the trashcan.
- Quit licking your bandaid.
- Quit chewing on the fly swatter.
- Why are you picking your nose with a pencil?
- Bath water is not delicious, don’t drink it.
- Don’t lick the dust pan.
- Put down the deer leg
The Wildest Stories
Give a kid 5 minutes and they will weave a tale more bizarre than Hollywood could ever imagine. The dog isn’t just a dog, she’s a secret spy agent. The mud puddle in the back yard is really a portal to another kingdom and the queen of the kingdom is a big, fat toad they dug out of a pile of sand as she was trying to escape the grimy, sweaty hands of three little toad ‘rescuers’. A cardboard box is really a spaceship and a dandelion is most precious of all gifts. And you, you are their entire world.
Final Thoughts
Yes, little kids are weird. But despite their weirdness or maybe it’s because of it, they remind us of what pure love looks like. They give the best hugs and say I love you without hesitation. They remind us of how magical the simple things in life can be. They are hilarious, creative, and full of joy. And, if we are lucky, they will remind us that life is a lot more fun when you embrace the weirdness.
All parents have crazy stories about their little ones. Feel free to share your’s in the comments below. I could always use a good laugh and we would love to hear from you!